Oh my god, it’s fucking hard to change When all the things that feel like home Lead to an early grave And god knows There’s just not enough time in the day ‘Cause days they just keep adding up Till soon enough you’re in a rut Where nothing quite feels new to you And what you’re used to ain’t enough The fear consumes something like love Then an empty hollow self That you’re stuck with in the morning In the mirror brushing your teeth Not as often as you should be But you’re trying Oh my god you’re trying To live as if it’s worth it Yeah you’re trying Oh my god you’re trying To live as if you want to live

One eye open One foot in the grave I am a regret accountant Who couldn’t tell you what he’d change And sure I still perseverate On my mistakes So now begins the real work Of learning it’s to too late When I said i was sick of being here I wasn’t talking about college When I said you should come and visit me Well, you better leave your expectations with your baggage ‘Cause if you show up at my doorstep Sure as hell I’ll let you in But I’m not sure of where we’re going And I don’t care for where we’ve been There’s a certain sort of beauty Underlying indecision If there’s such a thing as love Than it’s the sickly sweet addiction Get out of my head!

I’ve always wanted to be A happy well-adjusted human being (Thanks Jeff!) Maybe it would help If I weren’t such a fucking asshole to myself I wouldn’t do this to anyone else My stomach is full of terrible things Like coffee, McDonald’s, and amphetamines There’s cancer in my lungs that’s waiting to be If I don’t stop living this way I’ll probably always have a farmer’s tan I’ll probably always smoke cigarettes I’ll probably always wish that I could live a little better But life is hard to lead without regrets Things are gonna change Damn right they’re gonna change And I can’t fucking wait until they do Yeah I am gonna change I swear I’m gonna change I swear I’m gonna change pretty soon

Well feelings are one thing But plans they are another Are we fucking ourselves By fucking each other? And I’ve been spreading myself way to thinly Across a continent That wants to bankrupt me with geography I would love to go To The Gathering of the Juggalos ‘Cause you’re the midwest I’m a rust belt version of myself Sure, I’d love to go see Joyce Manor in Toronto ‘Cause there’s a girl in Saskatoon I’m dying to get to know But I’m still unemployed So when I’m leaving I won’t say I’m sorry It seems kind of silly to apologize For being another body Trapped by fiscal limitations And sexual frustrations Physics, hesitation I need a damn vacation! From this constant need for things to be okay So hope you don't forget me But everything is fleeting And distance has no meaning When you really start measuring your days

Let’s see how much potential we can waste Waking up at 4 PM we’re drunk as fuck by 8 Relationships we’re slacking on A constant sense that something’s wrong I never get a damn thing done Just promise me we're having fun Let’s plan on going out and seeing parts of town We’ve never seen before and and may well never see again Let’s plan on spending money on a weekend well-deserved But when it comes to sticking to our plans Who’s got that kind of nerve? Let’s plan on starting bands Let’s plan on seeing shows Let’s fight our apathy like Sisyphus is rolling stones Am I a piece of shit? Or can I file this under trying to get my priorities straight? And all the things you wish that you could change Responsibilities weigh On a tired maladjusted brain Let’s stay in bed a while We are young let’s sacrifice today to our inner child We don’t do anything that we don’t have to And the road to hell is paved with Taco Bell and Mountain Dew Empty bottles Former friendships Sliding out of view Repeating: “I’m a child I’m disabled This is way too much” All this hiding All this fear Is more than just a crutch It is truth It is life It is waiting to die It’s one four-day weekend just passing us by It’s one four-day weekend (Eternal Kickflip)

I'm gonna go all winter without wearing gloves I'm gonna smoke my hands into oblivion And every nerve ending will know exactly how I feel I'm gonna cut my losses and just give up I've waited 'round too long to only end up fucked Because time is the one thing That you can never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever get back Maybe if I had a little patience And maybe if I had a little time Then I could deal with everybody's bullshit And honestly tell people that I'm fine But everyone's got problems Some that they'll never solve I've seen enough to know now Nothing ever gets resolved Well if you're feeling kinda empty Then at least you're not alone We can drink and smoke in my room We can all just piss and moan It's colder now, within, without I want to know what I'm about Past drinking on porches and drinking on roofs Because now that it's winter I don't know what to do But sit inside and kill some time I'll just sit inside and kill some time I'm just paralyzed, overanalyze, I'll just sit inside and kill some time I'm gonna cut my losses and just give up I'm gonna cut my losses and just give up I'm gonna cut my losses and just give up Can someone please just tell me how I can give up? Because everyone's got problems Some that they'll never solve I've seen enough to know now Nothing ever gets resolved Well if you're feeling kinda empty Then at least you're not alone We can drink and smoke in my room And feel a little less alone

I need to work on my disarming smile Because it's been a long long while Since anybody smiled back at me. They always say, "I guess you're pretty cute, But not enough to not be charming, You better make me laugh or your will die alone." And I can't think of things much worse than being alone.

I'm a different person In every state I'm in Proving that beer is the cure to small talk Across the country with my best friends I'm not getting any younger I've been killing all my summers Yeah this is life Yeah this is life alright. It's three a.m., I'm stranded at a gas station Buying smokes because I hate my lungs Make eye contact with some middle manager in a business suit who tells me "fuck 'em, just go be young." I'm not getting any younger. I've been killing my last summer And I swear to God I mean it this time, these are the best days of my life. And maybe in ten years I'll look back and say, "Things weren't that great, All you really did was get drunk and flirt with folks in a couple states" Or maybe I'll look back and say, "For once you didn't piss your life away." Never get tired, never get old Live like it's summer even after it starts to get cold Now I'm back in Pittsburgh and those bastards know how to have A goddamned punk rock show So go to hell, go to hell, go to hell everyone I know I'll see everybody there I'm not living healthy but I'm living well Sometimes I just can't tell what's good or right or fair Never get tired, live like it's summer Never get tired, live like it's summer Never get tired, never get tired Never get tired, live like it's summer Never get tired, live like it's summer Live like it's summer Live like it's summer Life like it's summer Your life's one big summer.

Excelsior I really don't know what I'm doing Excelsior Pound the pavement, see what sticks Change your story, get your fix 'Cause hopefully you know by now I'm pretty sure things won't work out We're living by contingency Well I guess it works, but it's tiring Excelsior And it never stops, there's no relief From all this biting our own teeth Let's write it off as decent grief Well I guess that's good enough for me

I'm setting myself a goal Of finding a girl with similar views on sex, drugs, and rock'n'roll And I may never find a perfect match 'Cause there's always a problem, there's always a fucking catch And I'm not perfect Not even close I'm just a person I'm just a ghost My old English teacher is going off the deep end I think he's losing his mind in the divorce Says he's starting all of his classes by telling a bunch of high school kids: "High school? Those are your prime suffering years Don’t get better suffering than that!" Do you have even the fuzziest notion of how I feel about you? Because I'm not sure even I do Can't say a word, won't say a word But I'll try three: I love you I'm sorry About my feelings Can you make them disappear? Can you take away my fear? Can you make me a better man? Nope! That’s something I gotta do for myself.

I liked you better when you were depressed That's a shit thing to say, but now you've gone away And I miss being able to count on your head on my chest Looks like you're having fun It's not that it's without me, I think that it might be The way that you've found yourself while I still feel like no one How can we say we're friends? When the truth is we're lovers, resentful and stubborn, Unable or willing to bring things to a graceful end It's a hard thing to prove That anything's worth it when all is imperfect As if we had anything that we weren't destined to lose And rest assured, I will act out of spite Lash out at a lover as if it's her fault That the nature of things is for nothing to work out alright I just wanna move on To Ohio and Pittsburgh, dream of San Francisco With Daryl and Tom, paychecks, taxes, grad school, and sunlight Have a beer for me Don't try to track me down I'm done with the Midwest and all that that entails I won't be back around So was it the distance, or was it the time That finally did it and changed both our minds? The past is the past dear, or so I will say But you and I both know that some things never, ever, ever go away And all the pain we could ever endure Crushed under the weight of the appeal of feeling secure Say that you feel the same, I've spent months feeling sick A round hole, a square peg, and somebody else's dick So go if you're leaving then, say hi to Matt and Carolyn I'll be here waiting if you ever want to talk to me again

Oh my god It’s fucking hard to change But I’ve got nothing left but time With which to try new ways And maybe God has counted up the wasted days That I reflect on lovingly For teaching me to not concede To that familiar hurt incurred By a litany of wants and needs This is replacement therapy And you’re still stuck with yourself You’re okay with being boring You brush your teeth and even floss Every single goddamn morning And you’re trying Oh my god you’re trying To live as if it’s worth it Yeah you’re trying Oh my god you’re trying To live as if you want to live But all the same It’s hard to change